December 31, 2010

Moving On

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more,
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease,
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkenss of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

-Alfred Lord Tennyson, Ring Out, Wild Bells

Happy New Year!

Upload, Submit, Done!

Forget a New Year's Eve party. I'm ready to have a stomach-knot-untying party! Bring on the bubbly! I just submitted my final exam, and now I'm officially done with my MT course. I can't think of a better way to end the year and start a new one.

There is a long list of people I owe enormous thanks to for their help. There was no way I could have possibly finished the course without them. You all shared your time, offered words of encouragement, and put up with me on all those really ugly days. You know who you are, and I'm sending lots of love to all of you until I can give you bear hugs in person.

Darius, Ben, Zach you guys were there for all of it. How you ever tolerated me during those my-wife/mommy-is-a-raging-lunatic moments is beyond me, but you did and I'm glad you still love me!

Mom & Dad, if it weren't for you and the help, I never would have even started the program. I'm beyond grateful for you and the opportunity you gave me.

Time for this ex-student to do a little happy dance and catch some shut eye....

December 26, 2010

Christmas done simple.

The boys are still a little young to fully understand what kind of excitement typically surrounds Christmas. We've watched some movies about it, read some stories, sang songs, but they had no idea what was coming. In a way it's nice because they're not at the point where they rush through opening everything within minutes.

One of our gifts to them was additional tracks for their train set. I used the new and old and built a big track for them in the middle of the living room floor. That is what they immediately went for. It didn't even register that there were other gifts in the room and stockings with candy peeking out of them. Then the meltdown inevitably happened shortly thereafter. In addition to the tracks, we got them new engines, different new engines. Big mistake. Of course they wanted to play with the same one and tantrums ensued. Eventually they calmed down and were excited with Rocky and Stinky, the talking, singing, dancing, and my personal favorite: farting, dump and garbage trucks.

Ben painted us a beautiful picture on his new easel. We'll keep it always.

Zach and Stinky the garbage truck.
 
Ben and Rocky the dump truck.

Percy, the cause of the Christmas-morning meltdowns.

We kept it pretty simple. I think that's what I enjoyed most about the day. We could have done more, but at the boys' age, it would have been an overkill. There wasn't anything Darius and I could have exchanged that would have been better than what we already have. We have each other and healthy kids, and we enjoy our time together. The rest is just a little icing. Eventually we'll figure out what traditions we'll adopt over the years as a family. It will be fun to have the boys help us in deciding what those traditions will be.

December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve in Cordova





 

Refrigerator

Okay, so I'll admit I'm not feeling a great deal of holiday cheer at present. My head is congested with the final exam I'm working on and finishing it before year's end, and I'm cooped up most of the time with little tykes that haven't got a clue as to what condition my nerves are in. How I'm maintaining any resemblance at sanity right now is beyond me.

I have found lately, I've been trying to calm the disaster, in which I call my stomach, by snacking a bit more than I should. I love to bake, and I've been trying to refrain because I know I'll overindulge if there's an abundance of goodies within reach. Damn my sweet tooth. Even still, I often find myself wandering to the refrigerator and looking inside and finding all the same things that were there an hour ago. It's like my subconscious is willing tasty things to magically appear.

My current waistline is keeping me out of the clothes I should be wearing right now. Not good, but then again, maybe not all bad either. All those trips to the refrigerator probably give me the small windows of calm I sometimes desperately need during the day. No, not so much for what it holds. I love what's on the outside of it. Beautiful faces of family and friends scattered across holiday cards. It's probably the one thing I love most about the season. I look forward to seeing faces I haven't seen in a long time, and the updates I get on everyone. I smile every time I look at those cards and all the others scattered around the home.


A great big "Thanks!" to all of you for the time you took to send cards. You've done wonders to help keep my stress somewhat more manageable, and the thought of each of you celebrating the season in so many different places, with people that you love makes me smile. Best wishes to all of you for a beautiful holiday!

December 21, 2010

Solstice

"I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December
A magical thing
And sweet to remember.
'We are nearer to Spring
Than we were in September,'
I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December."

- Oliver Herford, I Heard a Bird Sing

I wasn't expecting to see the eclipse, but there it was last night!

Finally, we've reached our shortest day (of sunlight), and now our days will gradually get longer. I will be so happy to see the sun when it finally makes it back over the mountain.

December 18, 2010

Holiday Wishes

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December 11, 2010

You're just what I wanted.

I clearly remember the day I met Darius. He was a trainer, I was a trainee. I won't go as far as to say it was love at first sight, but I was most definitely infatuated with him. I knew my chances at getting to know him were very slim in the short amount of time he would be around training the new staff, and I knew it wasn't an appropriate time to confess my desire to know him better. I remember talking to him once during the training period, and he squeezed my hand briefly as he spoke to me. In his eyes it was probably nothing more than a friendly gesture, but to me it was like everything momentarily faded away.

Darius had done many openings before I met him, and I knew I wasn't the first girl to fall for him, but somewhere inside of me I knew there was something more to it than just a trainer-trainee crush. I knew if I could just get his attention he would see there was something there too. It's ridiculous I know, but I would wish for my chance with him before going to sleep at night, for months. He lived in another state, I barely knew him, and yet I never felt such a strong desire to be with someone so much.

I went as far as to plan a camping vacation, by myself, in a state I'd never visited before, all for the chance to see him and go fishing with him. I found out it was a hobby of his during the opening, and I went as far as to buy books like Fishing for Dummies so that when we did go fishing I could pretend I knew a little something about something I didn't have a clue about. When our fishing date fell through and my trip didn't go according to plan, I almost gave up, but I never stopped thinking about him and hoping beyond hope that I might still have a chance. A few months later I sent a random email to him to see how his summer was going. I don't know if that's when the light bulb went on, but it seemed to set the wheels in motion.

We emailed, we talked on the phone, we set up another visit. The next time he squeezed my hand he kept holding on as we walked together in a summer rainstorm in Florida. I got the chance I had wanted so badly, and he finally saw there was something there too.

Three years ago we held each other's hands and promised to stick by each other till the end. It was nothing elaborate, and no one was there with us we knew besides our unborn babies. It was perfect for us. Maybe not what either of us had envisioned our wedding being, but it didn't matter. It was just the legal start of something that had already started years before.


We've had our fair share of ups and downs like most marriages, but our relationship just gets better with time. I'm so thankful for this day, and I look forward to this day in another year from now, and all the years after that.


Happy Anniversary Darius, husband, friend, greatest love of my life. I love you forever, I love you more.

December 10, 2010

Christmas Tree, I'm Sorry.

I told Darius when we left for Louisiana that our Christmas tree would be dead when we came back. I was actually surprised to find water left in the tree stand when we got home and thought just maybe we had lucked out. I was wrong. With the slightest brush against a limb needles would fall. We thought that maybe we could get another couple weeks out of it but after vacuuming up the needles and seeing the tree continue to shed more than what I had just sucked up, it was clear the tree would be completely bare soon.

Darius went back to work today, so I had the task of taking the tree down while Zach and Ben napped. It was a very sad and somewhat painful task. As I would take off the ornaments and lights, the needles from the tree would stick into my skin, and on several occasions my hand came out looking like a green porcupine. I think more needles ended up on the floor than on the tree when I was done.


I feel terrible that our tree met such a tragic end. It's bad enough we cut it down, but it didn't even get it's full proper honorary term as our Christmas tree. Darius will disagree with me, but I almost feel like my punishment for tree torture should be to forgo a real tree next Christmas. I couldn't help but think of the Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein as I took our tree down, and it made me sad. I was supposed to take a picture of the tree before I took it down and I completely forgot. All I have are the photos of it's sad fate.


 We could easily go out and cut another tree, but we didn't feel it was the right thing to do. I couldn't bear to put away all the ornaments before Christmas so I got a little creative. I strung up some lights in our living room and hung the ornaments from the lights. The boys reaction when they saw what I had done was sweet. They oohed, ahhed, and wowed. It was like watching their reaction to when we first decorated the tree all over again. It almost made up for the sick feeling in my stomach, almost.

Louisiana

We enjoyed warm weather in Louisiana for most of our stay. When I was packing for our trip, I had first packed a bunch of clothes for cold weather. I ended up checking the forecast before we left and realized I had to start over. It was so nice to be able to take the boys outside without being bundled up and just let them play and run around the yard at their Nini and Papaw's. We had the opportunity to take them to a park a couple of times and to the zoo.


During our week there we celebrated Darius' birthday, and after much persuasion he finally gave in and agreed to have a birthday cheesecake. He was glad he did. The boys helped him blow out his candles with much blowing and spitting. It was worth it just to see them in action. Margaret was good enough to watch the boys while we enjoyed a nice dinner out at the Warehouse No. 1. It was just as good, if not better, than what we ate when we celebrated my birthday there last year. We also took advantage of the time to do our Christmas shopping for the boys.

Before the trip I had wondered how we were going to get our Christmas shopping done. I had figured it would come down to one of us doing it on our own while the other stayed with the boys. I'm so happy that's not the way it happened. I thoroughly enjoyed being able to have the time alone with Darius to shop together. Thanks again Margaret! We ended up getting everything we needed and lucky for us we packed a few extra duffel bags for the trip home.

We enjoyed our trip, the time we had to visit with friends and family, and all the yummy food! We indulged at Johnny's a few times, Margaret treated us to her delicious spaghetti sauce and a fabulous ham dinner, I had my first Po Boy sandwich (so good!), and we had the opportunity to join Thomas and Annmarie for dinner one night and grilled up some salmon we brought with us.
 Our flights there and home again all went smoothly. It took almost 2 full days to get there, and then another 2 coming back. It's a lot of time confined to a seat, and I'm always amazed that the boys do so well with it all. We were glad to get home, but it was so nice to get away for a break! Thanks again Margaret and Alfred for the nice stay, and thanks to all Darius' friends we saw for the good visits! To all those we missed, we're sorry we didn't get around to see all of you. We'll catch you all on our next visit!

Break Time

Last Monday we headed out to Louisiana unexpectedly. I'll be honest, I had some concerns about traveling during the end of my course but planned on taking my material with me to work on it there and along the way. As we were headed down to Seattle on the last leg of our flight from Cordova I pulled out my things to work on my practice transcriptions. I was sick when instead of my CD with my practice reports on it I found a movie I thought I had returned before heading out to the airport. I mixed up the disks and dropped off the wrong one by mistake. I was pretty upset at first, since without the disk there was literally nothing I could do to work on the course, but by the following morning I looked at the mishap as a blessing in disguise. Instead of stressing out over school on the trip I was able to enjoy spending time with the boys, Darius, and his family and friends. The break was nice to have and much needed.