December 31, 2010

Moving On

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more,
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease,
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkenss of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

-Alfred Lord Tennyson, Ring Out, Wild Bells

Happy New Year!

Upload, Submit, Done!

Forget a New Year's Eve party. I'm ready to have a stomach-knot-untying party! Bring on the bubbly! I just submitted my final exam, and now I'm officially done with my MT course. I can't think of a better way to end the year and start a new one.

There is a long list of people I owe enormous thanks to for their help. There was no way I could have possibly finished the course without them. You all shared your time, offered words of encouragement, and put up with me on all those really ugly days. You know who you are, and I'm sending lots of love to all of you until I can give you bear hugs in person.

Darius, Ben, Zach you guys were there for all of it. How you ever tolerated me during those my-wife/mommy-is-a-raging-lunatic moments is beyond me, but you did and I'm glad you still love me!

Mom & Dad, if it weren't for you and the help, I never would have even started the program. I'm beyond grateful for you and the opportunity you gave me.

Time for this ex-student to do a little happy dance and catch some shut eye....

December 26, 2010

Christmas done simple.

The boys are still a little young to fully understand what kind of excitement typically surrounds Christmas. We've watched some movies about it, read some stories, sang songs, but they had no idea what was coming. In a way it's nice because they're not at the point where they rush through opening everything within minutes.

One of our gifts to them was additional tracks for their train set. I used the new and old and built a big track for them in the middle of the living room floor. That is what they immediately went for. It didn't even register that there were other gifts in the room and stockings with candy peeking out of them. Then the meltdown inevitably happened shortly thereafter. In addition to the tracks, we got them new engines, different new engines. Big mistake. Of course they wanted to play with the same one and tantrums ensued. Eventually they calmed down and were excited with Rocky and Stinky, the talking, singing, dancing, and my personal favorite: farting, dump and garbage trucks.

Ben painted us a beautiful picture on his new easel. We'll keep it always.

Zach and Stinky the garbage truck.
 
Ben and Rocky the dump truck.

Percy, the cause of the Christmas-morning meltdowns.

We kept it pretty simple. I think that's what I enjoyed most about the day. We could have done more, but at the boys' age, it would have been an overkill. There wasn't anything Darius and I could have exchanged that would have been better than what we already have. We have each other and healthy kids, and we enjoy our time together. The rest is just a little icing. Eventually we'll figure out what traditions we'll adopt over the years as a family. It will be fun to have the boys help us in deciding what those traditions will be.

December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve in Cordova





 

Refrigerator

Okay, so I'll admit I'm not feeling a great deal of holiday cheer at present. My head is congested with the final exam I'm working on and finishing it before year's end, and I'm cooped up most of the time with little tykes that haven't got a clue as to what condition my nerves are in. How I'm maintaining any resemblance at sanity right now is beyond me.

I have found lately, I've been trying to calm the disaster, in which I call my stomach, by snacking a bit more than I should. I love to bake, and I've been trying to refrain because I know I'll overindulge if there's an abundance of goodies within reach. Damn my sweet tooth. Even still, I often find myself wandering to the refrigerator and looking inside and finding all the same things that were there an hour ago. It's like my subconscious is willing tasty things to magically appear.

My current waistline is keeping me out of the clothes I should be wearing right now. Not good, but then again, maybe not all bad either. All those trips to the refrigerator probably give me the small windows of calm I sometimes desperately need during the day. No, not so much for what it holds. I love what's on the outside of it. Beautiful faces of family and friends scattered across holiday cards. It's probably the one thing I love most about the season. I look forward to seeing faces I haven't seen in a long time, and the updates I get on everyone. I smile every time I look at those cards and all the others scattered around the home.


A great big "Thanks!" to all of you for the time you took to send cards. You've done wonders to help keep my stress somewhat more manageable, and the thought of each of you celebrating the season in so many different places, with people that you love makes me smile. Best wishes to all of you for a beautiful holiday!

December 21, 2010

Solstice

"I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December
A magical thing
And sweet to remember.
'We are nearer to Spring
Than we were in September,'
I heard a bird sing
In the dark of December."

- Oliver Herford, I Heard a Bird Sing

I wasn't expecting to see the eclipse, but there it was last night!

Finally, we've reached our shortest day (of sunlight), and now our days will gradually get longer. I will be so happy to see the sun when it finally makes it back over the mountain.

December 18, 2010

Holiday Wishes

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December 11, 2010

You're just what I wanted.

I clearly remember the day I met Darius. He was a trainer, I was a trainee. I won't go as far as to say it was love at first sight, but I was most definitely infatuated with him. I knew my chances at getting to know him were very slim in the short amount of time he would be around training the new staff, and I knew it wasn't an appropriate time to confess my desire to know him better. I remember talking to him once during the training period, and he squeezed my hand briefly as he spoke to me. In his eyes it was probably nothing more than a friendly gesture, but to me it was like everything momentarily faded away.

Darius had done many openings before I met him, and I knew I wasn't the first girl to fall for him, but somewhere inside of me I knew there was something more to it than just a trainer-trainee crush. I knew if I could just get his attention he would see there was something there too. It's ridiculous I know, but I would wish for my chance with him before going to sleep at night, for months. He lived in another state, I barely knew him, and yet I never felt such a strong desire to be with someone so much.

I went as far as to plan a camping vacation, by myself, in a state I'd never visited before, all for the chance to see him and go fishing with him. I found out it was a hobby of his during the opening, and I went as far as to buy books like Fishing for Dummies so that when we did go fishing I could pretend I knew a little something about something I didn't have a clue about. When our fishing date fell through and my trip didn't go according to plan, I almost gave up, but I never stopped thinking about him and hoping beyond hope that I might still have a chance. A few months later I sent a random email to him to see how his summer was going. I don't know if that's when the light bulb went on, but it seemed to set the wheels in motion.

We emailed, we talked on the phone, we set up another visit. The next time he squeezed my hand he kept holding on as we walked together in a summer rainstorm in Florida. I got the chance I had wanted so badly, and he finally saw there was something there too.

Three years ago we held each other's hands and promised to stick by each other till the end. It was nothing elaborate, and no one was there with us we knew besides our unborn babies. It was perfect for us. Maybe not what either of us had envisioned our wedding being, but it didn't matter. It was just the legal start of something that had already started years before.


We've had our fair share of ups and downs like most marriages, but our relationship just gets better with time. I'm so thankful for this day, and I look forward to this day in another year from now, and all the years after that.


Happy Anniversary Darius, husband, friend, greatest love of my life. I love you forever, I love you more.

December 10, 2010

Christmas Tree, I'm Sorry.

I told Darius when we left for Louisiana that our Christmas tree would be dead when we came back. I was actually surprised to find water left in the tree stand when we got home and thought just maybe we had lucked out. I was wrong. With the slightest brush against a limb needles would fall. We thought that maybe we could get another couple weeks out of it but after vacuuming up the needles and seeing the tree continue to shed more than what I had just sucked up, it was clear the tree would be completely bare soon.

Darius went back to work today, so I had the task of taking the tree down while Zach and Ben napped. It was a very sad and somewhat painful task. As I would take off the ornaments and lights, the needles from the tree would stick into my skin, and on several occasions my hand came out looking like a green porcupine. I think more needles ended up on the floor than on the tree when I was done.


I feel terrible that our tree met such a tragic end. It's bad enough we cut it down, but it didn't even get it's full proper honorary term as our Christmas tree. Darius will disagree with me, but I almost feel like my punishment for tree torture should be to forgo a real tree next Christmas. I couldn't help but think of the Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein as I took our tree down, and it made me sad. I was supposed to take a picture of the tree before I took it down and I completely forgot. All I have are the photos of it's sad fate.


 We could easily go out and cut another tree, but we didn't feel it was the right thing to do. I couldn't bear to put away all the ornaments before Christmas so I got a little creative. I strung up some lights in our living room and hung the ornaments from the lights. The boys reaction when they saw what I had done was sweet. They oohed, ahhed, and wowed. It was like watching their reaction to when we first decorated the tree all over again. It almost made up for the sick feeling in my stomach, almost.

Louisiana

We enjoyed warm weather in Louisiana for most of our stay. When I was packing for our trip, I had first packed a bunch of clothes for cold weather. I ended up checking the forecast before we left and realized I had to start over. It was so nice to be able to take the boys outside without being bundled up and just let them play and run around the yard at their Nini and Papaw's. We had the opportunity to take them to a park a couple of times and to the zoo.


During our week there we celebrated Darius' birthday, and after much persuasion he finally gave in and agreed to have a birthday cheesecake. He was glad he did. The boys helped him blow out his candles with much blowing and spitting. It was worth it just to see them in action. Margaret was good enough to watch the boys while we enjoyed a nice dinner out at the Warehouse No. 1. It was just as good, if not better, than what we ate when we celebrated my birthday there last year. We also took advantage of the time to do our Christmas shopping for the boys.

Before the trip I had wondered how we were going to get our Christmas shopping done. I had figured it would come down to one of us doing it on our own while the other stayed with the boys. I'm so happy that's not the way it happened. I thoroughly enjoyed being able to have the time alone with Darius to shop together. Thanks again Margaret! We ended up getting everything we needed and lucky for us we packed a few extra duffel bags for the trip home.

We enjoyed our trip, the time we had to visit with friends and family, and all the yummy food! We indulged at Johnny's a few times, Margaret treated us to her delicious spaghetti sauce and a fabulous ham dinner, I had my first Po Boy sandwich (so good!), and we had the opportunity to join Thomas and Annmarie for dinner one night and grilled up some salmon we brought with us.
 Our flights there and home again all went smoothly. It took almost 2 full days to get there, and then another 2 coming back. It's a lot of time confined to a seat, and I'm always amazed that the boys do so well with it all. We were glad to get home, but it was so nice to get away for a break! Thanks again Margaret and Alfred for the nice stay, and thanks to all Darius' friends we saw for the good visits! To all those we missed, we're sorry we didn't get around to see all of you. We'll catch you all on our next visit!

Break Time

Last Monday we headed out to Louisiana unexpectedly. I'll be honest, I had some concerns about traveling during the end of my course but planned on taking my material with me to work on it there and along the way. As we were headed down to Seattle on the last leg of our flight from Cordova I pulled out my things to work on my practice transcriptions. I was sick when instead of my CD with my practice reports on it I found a movie I thought I had returned before heading out to the airport. I mixed up the disks and dropped off the wrong one by mistake. I was pretty upset at first, since without the disk there was literally nothing I could do to work on the course, but by the following morning I looked at the mishap as a blessing in disguise. Instead of stressing out over school on the trip I was able to enjoy spending time with the boys, Darius, and his family and friends. The break was nice to have and much needed.

November 25, 2010

For the Good and Bad

I'm thankful for a lot of things. No more so today than any other day, but the spotlight does seem to favor today for giving thanks, so here are some of the things on my list.

I'm thankful for the small things that make my life more comfortable every day. The very basics that some go without. I'm happy for a roof over my head, a good job for Darius that allows me to stay home with our kids and puts food on the table. I'm thankful we have supportive families and friends that love us for who we are. I'm especially thankful for a husband and children that love me despite my many flaws, for the joy they bring me, for their health, for everyday I have with them.

Then there are the less than desirable things that have happened in the past. I'm thankful for all the not-so-great stuff too. I think back to some of the low points in my life and how because of them I was forced to make decisions that took me in unexpected and different directions. It's funny how life plays out. I think back on the months leading up to when I first met Darius. It was like a domino effect. The slightest change and my life would be completely different right now. I wouldn't want that. What I have makes me very happy, very grateful.

 And then there's you! Chances are if you read the entries I post, it's likely you have had some sort of influence at some point in either my or Darius' life. You have somehow played a part and helped us reach the very point we're at now. Even if you haven't, I'm still grateful for you for coming here and wanting to hear about what we're up to and who we are. Thanks for taking part.

I'm thankful for you.

November 23, 2010

A Mighty Fine Man

I just spent most of the day at the library doing school work. I got up once during a 6-hour period (terrible I know). I came home with aching fingers, frozen toes, buggy eyes, a sleeping butt, and a very hungry belly. I couldn't even go potty while I was there...no water in the building.

What do I find when I get home? A clean home, dinner in the works, laundry in the wash, happy children, and a tray of fresh, hot.....


SAUSAGE BALLS coming out of the oven. Don't let their appearance deceive you. This is some seriously good eating! I've probably already had half a dozen of them. It's so hard to stop!

I have an awesome hubby. He handles up on things and makes everything better.

Have a I told you how much I love you today, Darius?

November 19, 2010

All about Zach

Zach is my sidekick. I literally have to avoid knocking him over. You might say he's a bit of a mama's boy right now. If I leave a room or go upstairs and he doesn't approve, he yells "Wait!" At night when he wakes up he'll have nothing to do with Darius. He'll pathetically sob and carry on as if the world is ending. As soon as I walk through the door a switch flips and it's "Hi Mama," and he's fine again. Little stinker.


Zach is a very passionate boy. When he loves something he's all in. From the top of his head to the tips of his wacky little toenails. His expressions are priceless, and I love how he sticks his tongue out when he's concentrating hard on something. He's very affectionate and is usually pretty quick to share hugs and kisses.

Since Halloween and the re-introduction of the Buzz and Woody towels, Zach has been all about dressing up. I think just about everyday since Halloween he's worn his spider costume. It's cute when he looks for his shoes and heads for the door expecting to go Trick-or-Treating again. He's also been on the lookout now for ghosts and monsters. When he hears our neighbors outside talking in our shared entryway, he looks at me with a very nervous look and tells me the voices are ghosts and that he's scared. If there are unexplained sounds he can't see, it must be ghosts or monsters.

Zach's favorite is still robots. There's the 1-legged Rodney and M-O. We've had to repair M-O several times now, and during one of it's procedures I thought I'd operate on Rodney too and give him his leg back. No good. Zach didn't want Rodney to be whole again and deliberately yanked off his leg again.

Zach also loves playing with trains, trucks, airplanes, Mr. Potato Head, and stuffed animals. He's also really into spiders now. He's very generous and shares his food and drink with all toys in general. He likes to sleep with a buddy, and I have to give kisses and say goodnight to his buddy before him.

Zach's favorite meal lately is pancakes. He asks for them everyday and would eat them at every meal if I let him. He also loves corn, but for some reason he won't always eat it unless it's on the cob. Last night he had 5 ears lined up and alternated bites between cobs, eating them all. Those were some fun diapers to change today.


Zach is very considerate. He's learned the basics of sharing and is very clever when trying to get what he wants from Ben by attempting trades. It won't always work, but he does his best to sell it to Ben anyway. What's especially sweet is when I see Zach sharing with his brother and bringing him things to play with without any prompting.

My little spider-robot-loving sidekick. I love him.

November 18, 2010

Coming clean

When Darius goes to bed at night I can usually hear him sawing logs within 5 minutes. He says he can pass out that quickly because he has a clear conscious, and I believe him. I, however, do not. As tired as I am after a long day, I can sometimes lay in bed for close to an hour before I finally fall sleep. I literally cannot shut off my head from thinking. What do I think about? All the things I'm ashamed to admit about myself.

I've been debating whether or not to put this out there for people to see, but I think if it's in writing then I'm forced to acknowledge that I'm struggling right now and that it's not healthy to mask it anymore. I'll caution you now that this is a very personal post, and you likely won't see me in the same light after reading it. Feel free to skip it and come back another day when I have something a little more upbeat to offer.

I don't believe in comparing myself to others. I think it's unhealthy. However, I do compare myself to myself, if that makes any sense. I know perfectly well what I'm capable of and when I'm putting my best foot forward. For awhile now I've been generally sucking all around. I'm pretty good at faking it and pretending I have it all together. I have to stop doing that. I don't have it together. I need to step it up and be more accountable for the choices I make each day. I need to be me. No mask. No faking it. I guess the first step is admitting my faults, and then maybe I can move forward from there.

Okay, so this is where it gets hard. I need to get this monkey off my back and to do so I just need to lay it all out there.

I'm a lousy mom. I really feel that. There are some of you that tell me that "You're amazing. I don't know how you do it." As much as I love you all, every time I hear that it's like a silent punch in the stomach. I know what kind of mom I can be, and I'm a long way off from her right now.

The honest truth is that I wasn't ready to be a mom when I got pregnant. I still don't feel ready. I cried to Darius when I found out. Then there was the tremendous guilt I felt after the news came that we were having twins. I certainly didn't feel then, or now, deserving of the 2 beautiful blessings that my boys are.

It angers, saddens, and frustrates me when I replay a day over in my mind while trying to sleep and thinking of all the ways I let my boys down over the course of the day. I can't fix those days, and lately there have been too many of them. My faults are that I turn the TV on way too much during the day. I lose my patience and yell when all they want sometimes is my help or attention. I procrastinate in getting my school work done when I should, and I end up turning my back on them during the day while I work on the computer. I don't sing and dance with them enough. I don't laugh with them enough. I don't teach them enough. I don't cook the good kinds of meals for them that I should. I don't brush their teeth everyday. I don't take them outside enough to play. I don't find enough ways to involve them in the daily things that I do.

It literally makes me sick when I think about all the opportunities I've wasted to love them better each day, all the extra smiles I could have shared with them that I didn't, all the extra tears I could have prevented. I'm not being too hard on myself. I know what I'm capable of and it's so much more than what I'm doing. I seriously feel like a monster sometimes. It's the lowest and most awful feeling, and the guilt is suffocating.

There are no acceptable excuses for not trying my best each day. Life happens, but whatever that involves, the most important part of it is the human factor. I want to do better. I want to give my children the very best that's in me so that they can be their very best.

Ruth: It starts now. Not in a couple of days or weeks or a month from now after school is finished. Life is never going to be easy. There will always be challenges, but that doesn't mean life can't be fun. You're not perfect, it's okay. Take each day and make it the best you can. There is no guarantee you'll get another tomorrow. Share every bit of yourself with Ben, Zach, and Darius and love them your very best. Laugh, dance, sing, and quit worrying about the small stuff. Remember how you felt when you wrote this and keep moving forward. You're monkey isn't cute like George, keep it off your back.

November 14, 2010

My super troopers.

For weeks now the weather has been downright depressing. I may be wrong, but I think the last semi-decent break in the weather we had was the evening of Halloween. Since then we've had grey skies, rain, and snow (briefly). This morning I could finally see gaps of blue through the clouds. It was almost enough to make me cry in relief. I knew come hell or highwater we were going to get out and spend a good chunk of the day outside.

I've just recently started taking the boys for walks without the use of a stroller. They're getting a lot better at following directions, and I don't find myself panicking as much when they're not somewhat confined. I'm by no means a heli-mom, but with 2-year-olds times 2 I'm still somewhat selective as to what I'll attempt with them on my own. Today I totally left my comfort zone, and instead of just a walk we went for a hike on Haystack Trail.

Haystack is about 20 miles east of Cordova along the Copper River Delta. It's a fairly easy in-out trail through a mossy forest with net-covered boardwalks and stairs. The hike in is just under a mile with an elevation gain of about 150 feet and stops at an overlook at the edge of a high cliff. It's a great little hike, but I had no idea how the boys would fair. I was prepared to go as far they could make it.


They enjoyed the boardwalks and stairs, although some of them were hard for them to climb with their little legs. Unfortunately the whole trail isn't covered with boardwalks, and of course the areas that weren't were ginormous puddles, deep mucky mud, or gnarly tree roots. Halfway up the trail they were soaked and muddy up to their knees bud didn't care one bit. They wanted to stomp through every puddle, loved looking up at the tall trees, and frequently called out for ghosts and monsters.


I was so proud of them for their efforts. We made it all the way to the overlook and stopped for a little lunch break. It was quite a bit cooler at the overlook, and they were happy to get underway again. They even let me put their mittens and hats on them. That's saying a lot. The hike out was pretty good, and there were only a couple of times I had to give them each a turn on my shoulders.


Seeing the car at the trailhead as we descended the final part of the trail was a relief. I thought for sure the boys' feet would be soaking wet and cold, but even after all the puddles of water and mud, they were surprisingly dry. After a change into dry clothes, we headed home and the boys promptly fell asleep. I drove back to town with a big smile and a great feeling of satisfaction. It always feels good to be able to do something I love that the boys enjoy too. It breaks me heart just a little the older they get, but at the same time it's great to know that they're getting old enough to take on some bigger adventures.

If the grey skies and rain return tomorrow, it's okay. Today was good and we'll get by okay until our next break. 

View from the overlook. Pictures don't quite do it justice.

November 12, 2010

All things Ben

Like most other parents out there, I think my kids are pretty awesome. I wanted to take some time and write down the things about Ben and his personality that I love best right now. He's not always hyper and screechy, and I don't want to look back on him now at this age with those at the forefront.

Ben is super independent. I have no idea where he could possibly get that from. :) He's content to play on his own a good part of the day. The boys' train table is setup in their room, and lately Ben has really been into playing with it. I finally had to bring the trains and tracks downstairs so that I could see him more during the day. He doesn't ask for help much from me, but when he does it's usually with a train track in his hand.

Ben is still my little cleaner-upper and organizer. He loves pulling up a chair to the sink to 'help' me with dishes. He cleans up his toys without me asking, and just recently he has started to throw away dirty diapers for me. I never asked him, he just started doing it the other day. It was adorable.


Today I had a basket of laundry on the floor in the living room to be folded. I should have known better than to leave it out, and I wasn't surprised to find clothes strewn all over the floor. I didn't pick them up right away and continued making lunch. Minutes later I found all the clothes back in the basket, not to mention the mountain of cars mixed in with the laundry had also been put away. I love that Ben does those things on his own without a word from me.

Ben's other great loves right now aside from trains and cleaning include coloring, jumping on the couch and bed, Mr. Potato Head, anything to do with Buzz Lightyear, stories read to him, chasing and wrestling Zach, building with blocks, lining up toys, bath time, eating fruit (especially strawberries), and toast. Ben likes to pick out all the dried strawberries out of my Special K, and if I would let him, he would eat an entire carton of strawberries in one sitting. Then there's toast. If you're making toast, make at least 2 extra slices for Ben, or you'll be giving up your own. No joke, toast is to Ben like cookies are to Cookie Monster.

Ben is not a super affectionate kid. He'll squirm away from you if you try to force hugs or cuddles out of him. It has to be his idea to show you the love. When he does it's pretty special. He gives these great bear hugs and the softest and sweetest kisses ever. They absolutely melt me.

I love this kid. Very much.

Oh, and yes, we do have clothes for Ben to wear. He just won't leave them on anymore!

October 31, 2010

Knock Knock

The sound of Ben & Zach's soft little knocks on doors tonight was as adorable as their Trick or Treat calls. Tonight was their first time Trick or Treating, and they had so much fun. They walked up steep hills, steep staircases, and through lots of puddles in their seek for treats. We lucked out and the weather was actually very nice tonight. We enjoyed our walk around town, and the boys got the hang of things pretty quick. Towards the end of the night we heard Ben say "door" whenever he wanted to stop at a house. Zach loved seeing the other kids' costumes and got extra excited about monsters and robots.

Zach loves getting dressed up in costumes, but it's all we can do to get a costume on Ben. We didn't think he would cooperate tonight, but he surprised us and wore a spider costume without much complaining. The robot costume was outshined as soon as the spider costume arrived. Zach still loves robots (even took M-O with him Trick or Treating) but the past few days has been all about spiders. I'm actually surprised that Zach picked monster Mike to wear out tonight.

The boys got a little crazy before we rolled out....

Happy Halloween!

October 23, 2010

Hello Sunshine

We've had several weeks of rain and grey skies. You don't realize how much you miss the sun until the weather clears and sunshine comes pouring through the windows.

It's so much more enjoyable getting the boys out when the weather is nice. We hit the sand park this afternoon, and I made the mistake of finding a little dinosaur in the sand. The boys ended up fighting over possession of it until we left.

Later on before bedtime Zach surprised us with his first official pee in the potty. I'd go into the details, but I don't want him looking back on this 1o years from now all embarrassed. Let's just say it was as adorable as peeing can possibly get. He was very pleased with himself. I won't hold my breath, but maybe we'll be getting him out of diapers sooner than we thought.

Can't win 'em all

My favorite ball player on my favorite team, I had thought, was supposed to pitch in yesterday's game against Texas. Of course I had expected a win to follow that too. As soon as I saw the wrong pitcher on the mound, I knew someone else got their birthday wish in ahead of mine. As painful of a game as it was to watch, I couldn't help but feel good for Texas winning their way into their first World Series playoff.

Hugs and kisses always make it better, and there's always next year.

Happy Birthday Dylan! Hope you have a great day!